Drow wedding ceremony

The Ekloshan    

While the Drow on Saivryth are a strong patriarchal theme similar to middle eastern culture and tradition, it is the women in the drow society that dictate any and all marriages.  And there is a whole elaborate ritual in drow society for weddings.

First and foremost the bride has a chaperone that guides her through the ritual. The mother of the groom or in some cases the highest ranking female in the household, may not even converse with the bride without the chaperone’s permission, until it is officially announced that the bride and groom are courting.

Since most drow marriages are arranged marriages, the bride and groom do not formailly meet until their first dinner together as intended bride and groom.  One of the most important parts of the drow wedding ritual is providing proof of fertility.  Male drow pride themselves on their virility in bed, so the first night together is very important, if the bride is not happy with her intended groom, she has the right to refuse the marriage offer proposed to her. 

On the other hand if she is pleased, the bride and groom are considered to be officially courting each other.  Once the bride has become pregnant, she participates in an elaborate tea ceremony with the mother of the groom to determine the conditions of the wedding.  Some leeway is permitted on the part of the groom’s mother here.  She may approve the wedding once the bride is showing signs of being pregnant.  Or she may hold off until the bride has given birth.  Because of the Patriarchal society sons are preferred over daughters, especially in regards to the nobility of Drow society.  So it is possible for the mother of the groom to halt the wedding ceremony if the bride gives birth to a daughter.  There are two exceptions to that.  The first is that since the first night together as an intended couple is so important in Drow society, if the bride should become pregnant that night, the ceremony may continue because Drow consider children of that first union to be very blessed and special.  The second exception is that the bride and groom can forgo the wedding ceremony altogether and the groom can take the bride as his exclusive lover for life.

Now if the exceptions are not met, the mother of the groom can halt the wedding, and the bride goes back to her family taking the female child with her.

Now also during the tea ceremony, the bride presents to the mother of the groom with a wedding necklet, that is intended to be worn by the groom once they are married.  This necklet is a  portion of the bride’s dowry and is a symbol of her worth to her future family.

Once the Bride and the Mother of the Groom has completed their tea ceremony.  It is customary for the Groom to complete a tea ceremony of his own with the Father of the Bride.  During his ceremony, the groom presents the father of the bride with the wedding necklet intended to be worn by the bride once they are married.  The more elaborate the wedding necklet, the more the groom can prove to the father of the bride that he can provide for his intended bride and their family.

Once the bride has given birth, she goes into seclusion with her groom and her child for a month with only her chaperone as contact with the outside world.  This is to prevent any chicanery in regards to children being switched to prevent the wedding.  Neither the parents of the groom or the bride are permitted to see the child until the wedding day.

On the wedding day part of the ceremony includes a presentation of the wedding necklets to mother of the groom and the father of the bride, as well as a presentation of the child as proof of fertility. Another part of the Ceremony is that the Bride must spend the day in silence to honor the family she is leave and out of respect for the family she will be joining.  After the presentation, the bride kneels next to the groom until the ceremony is completed, which is accomplished when the bride and groom place the wedding necklets on each other.

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